Forgiveness is not for the others. It is for yourself.

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Healing your emotional wounds is a process of self-perfecting. It could benefit you immensely regardless of what stage of life you are in. Pain and anger can turn into scars if we do not deal with them on time.

Forgiving (yourself or someone else) is the biggest antidote for these toxic stuff no matter if we are searching to be forgiven, or want to forgive someone who hurt us.

Before starting your journey of healing, you need to know that forgiving does not mean forgetting. In order to move on, you need to admit to yourself the truth about what happened.

When you honestly admit to yourself that you can’t change the past, you will receive a great gift – you are going to be healed.

Sharing your wish to forgive with the person, who hurt you, is not always necessary or possible. After all, forgiving is not as important for others as it is for you.

The process of forgiving and cleansing from toxic thoughts and feelings connected to the past can happen without the involvement of others. Forgiveness will allow you to let go of the anger and regret that eat up your energy.

In order to forgive, you first have to fully experience the feelings related to the emotional wound – anger, sadness, shame and fear. Sometimes writing a letter in which you express these feelings can be very helpful. You don’t need to send it. Actually, you may feel better by simply burning it.

Forgiving yourself may be harder than forgiving someone else. It requires admitting what you did and the damages you have done.

If you have a realistic view on the weaknesses and imperfections of human beings, you will find yourself to be forgiving easier. People make mistakes. We live and make decisions based on our own outlook on life.

In order to forgive yourself and others you have to try not to be judgmental. To develop this quality, you need to develop as a person and grow, which in turn leads to healing and better mental health.

The act of forgiving is a process that takes time and identifying your emotional wounds. You will get over the suffering when you make sense of the pain. You need to accept, get over, process and free yourself from the negative feelings in order to heal and become stronger.

As Haruki Murakami said: “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” 

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